In a holding pattern

I am going to keep this short, since I need to clean the house, but I wanted to let you all know that I am 34 1/2 weeks. This is "the week" where I try to have my babies, and this pregnancy is no different. On one of my many doctor visits this week, I was checked and found to be 80% effaced and 1-2 cm dilated. The baby has almost no cervix left holding her in, and the doctor says when it happens, it will be fast. I was also advised to take it easy, but was not put on any specific restrictions.

Times have changed. Katie tried to come at 34 weeks and they gave me drugs to stop my labor. They worked and I was put on strict bedrest and she stayed in for another 3 weeks. Now, the medical powers-that-be feel that the risks of stopping labor outweigh the benefits, when one is so close to term. So if Stephanie decides she wants to come, they will not stop her.

I am hoping to make it to Tuesday, when I will be 35 weeks and can deliver at the birth center, rather than the hospital. I have been asking the baby to stay in place until October, please. I realize it's only a few days away, but no matter. She is cooperating just fine, and I am going to the Khaki Ball tonight! This has been a goal of mine, and it appears I will make it. I am going to close now and straighten up the house before it is time to leave. I will post pictures tomorrow of me & Steve all dressed up!

The week of doctor's visits!

Monday I went for my dietician's checkup. She said I am eating well, hitting all the food groups and eating in the right combinations. It is getting easier now, and I have to look at my food guides less and less. I now can eyeball a portion size, and also can basically remember which groups to eat at what time. I think that I can keep this up after the baby comes and it will help me eat better. But my blood sugar is high in the mornings, so I was put on insulin at bedtime.

On Wednesday I had to go to an appointment that taught me how to inject myself. It is one overnight dose, injected at bedtime and is slow-acting and supposed to combat the rising blood sugar. So I went and learned how to do it, and injected myself with saline as a practice. I did it with the real stuff for the first time last night, and it wasn't bad. It hurts more to do the fingersticks 4 times a day.

I went for an ultrasound today. I thought I was going to get a weight estimate on the baby but no, the doctor has ordered a biophysical profile. Whatever, you lay on the table for either procedure! I got to watch the baby do practice breathing movements, and I saw her ribs, spine, heart, and little kidneys! She was being uncooperative concerning measurements so we wouldn't have been able to get good estimate on the weight anyway.

I did get the perfect picture of her little foot. See the picture at the top? I don't know what is going on at the left--it looks like ET-- but her foot is on the right. We saw her curling and uncurling her perfect, tiny toes. I am so excited to see her in person, but not til October, at least! Just stay in a few more days at least, so I can make it to the Khaki Ball!

Finally tomorrow I have my regular weekly OB appointment at 9 AM. I think this is just a quick in and out appointment with urine, my weight, listening to the baby's heart, measuring my belly and see you in a week. I don't think he is doing a repeat Ffn--I think we finished that last week. I don't know if he will want to check for dilation or not. I will be sure to update.

An update on the doctor's visits

I have moved to weekly visits. Week 34 is fast approaching and in my past pregnancies, it has been the magic week so the doctor is keeping an eye on me. I test my urine for ketones every day, and I test my blood sugar 4 times a day, and eat prescribed combinations of foods. I showed the doctor my numbers and he was not happy with my morning numbers-they are always high. So I am going to yet another appointment to learn how to inject myself with insulin--a single dose at bedtime. My amniotic fluid was acceptable, but low, so I am sucking down water to keep the baby comfy. I have asked her to stay where she is until at least Oct 1st. If she cannot wait, Sept 30th will suffice, since we have to go to the Khaki Ball on Sept 29th! My mom bought me a nice maternity dress, and I have a wrap, jewelry, shoes, a purse and a matching hair clip. I am all set. As long as she stays put, I am good to go! She dropped on Tuesday the 11th and is hanging out, VERY low, beneath my belly button, and very far in the back. Walking is fun! My hips hurt if I sit, sleep or stand, and they pop. I have sciatica and round ligament paid an SPD pain too, all exascerbated by how low she is. That's about it. I still use the doppler when she is having a quiet day, and I love to feel her movements. Also I am not dilated yet--just so you know!

Baby Stephanie's 3D ultrasound pictures

We had the 3D ultrasound done this evening and here are a few pictures! It is so great to be pregnant when this technology is around. Miss Stephanie was a little stubborn thing who didn't want to show her face, and I was a little low on the amniotic fluid so I didn't produce the sharpest images but we still had a great time!

The top picture is of her pursed lips and fat cheeks, and her chubby little arm and hand are curled up under her chin, and her hand is grasping her foot. The second picture is of a smiling little face, with 2 fists and a knee curled up under her chin. The bottom one made us laugh. She is sticking her tongue out at us! Her eyes were opened and the white circle is the apple of her fat little cheek. She was smiling and stuck her tongue out, all the time with her fist up to her chin. It was a lot of fun.

Just a note, a day late.

So. Yesterday was September 11th. I watched some tributes online and it all came back, flooding me with horror. We let Katie watch a tribute that wasn't graphic, and she thought it had happened yesterday. She was just under a year old when it happened so she doesn't remember. I remember in 2001, turning off the TV after a few days because the news coverage and replays were so bleak. My dad said that I shouldn't shield the kids from it. When he was a kid, his parents gave their kids a front row seat to the news, even if it was bad news, and didn't sugarcoat it. I agreed on one level, but on another, I didn't want my house to be so gloomy for my kids. It is a little less daunting, less overwhelming to look back and see the events now, so I let my kids watch and have respect for those who died.

Years have passed and at this time last year, the girls were born. So September 11th means more than a national tragedy for me, it is also a cause for celebration at the birth of two beautiful twins girls who captivated my heart at first sight. Yesterday, in addition to watching tributes, I also went back and looked at last September's posts and pictures. I remember how small they were, and how strong. I have watched them grow and change and thrive with their foster mom. They are beautiful, still strong, and have such cheery dispositions. It's been a roller coaster of a first year, and even though I don't like it here, I am glad we will be close enough to see them grow and change for another year or so. I love those girls. I am going to load up some pictures from June, when they were 9 months old. I will post more recent pictures when we see them next. And no matter how I try, pics always load at the top of the post instead of at the bottom where I want them. Oh well. That's Miss Alyssa on the top, and Miss MacKenzie on the bottom.

Gestational Diabetes

I went to the doctor on Friday, where they did the early-labor test and the doctor said if it is positive they will call me, otherwise assume it is negative and I see him again in 2 weeks, Sept 14th. No calls yet, and even though I go early, it's still too early for me and I am assuming it will be negative.

I got my referral for my diabetes class, but of course it came right before a holiday weekend. I will call on Monday and at least leave a voicemail if no one is in the office.

I have been a whiny little thing for the past week, afraid to eat anything. And it is hard to find something that I *can* eat. If it is not forbidden because it hurts my stomach--fast food in all forms, fried foods, etc--it is forbidden because of pregnancy--lunch/deli meat, unpasteurized stuff, hot dogs, caffeine--then it is forbidden because of the diabetes--anything else that tastes good.

I know that fast food, hot dogs, soda, Sunday morning donuts with the paper, all of these things aren't good for me at all, pregnant or not. I am sure that by the time the baby comes my taste buds will have changed and I won't want so much garbage. I am just afraid to eat. I can't wait to take this class and learn how to break food down into balanced groups and eat optimally. After the baby comes, I can continue eating similarly but maybe add back in a few things. Like a dessert now and then.

I have just been paranoid that every bite I take has the potential to hurt the baby. I read online that if it has sugar as one of the first three ingredients, don't eat it. That has been easy to follow, so it feels like I am doing something. I have been eating small things every few hours, and trying to balance starches and proteins. It's a pain in the butt. Oh well. I am in no mood to have a mammoth-sized baby.

So I get an ultrasound to monitor the baby's growth the night before my appointment, and I will post pictures then. I will have to go in for biophysical profiles too, soon.

Last night I bought some egg salad from the deli and it was rotten. I cried. No big surprise since I cried all day yesterday. I am sure I was a bucket of fun to be around. Steve has taken the egg salad back to the store. I told him that I do not want a replacement product either. The egg salad I bought was within the sell by date and still spoiled so I don't trust the deli with egg salad no more. It is sad because now I have to make it myself. Sigh.

I am just worn out. I am going to look for a diabetic-friendly smoothie recipe. I have milk, plain nonfat yogurt and a ton of fresh fruit. Maybe I can make a little smoothie that won't be too bad for me? We'll see!

Lookee, a baby bat!

I was walking past Barnes & Noble and I saw what I thought was a large hairy moth with folded wings. But no, it was a baby bat, sleeping upside down. The large end at the top is the bum! I peered closely in like a crazy lady to see the little hands and a bit of the face. I thought it was very cute. It was about 2 inches long.

A midnight ramble

Hi y'all. The kids' first day of school is tomorrow. They laid out their clothes, and I have their bookbags all ready to go. As a treat they will be allowed to buy lunches for this short week, but after that, they will be packing lunches from home. I have new lunch kits for them and new sandwich boxes to keep their sandwiches from being crushed.

I made banana bread tonight to use up some overripe bananas. I used a new recipe that took forever to bake and now I am too tired to sleep.

Some other moms and I are going out for lunch to celebrate school starting tomorrow and I laid out my clothes. I'm excited! I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes today so I will be watching what I eat and drink, I promise. Steve came home and did his part to encourage me to eat better by giving me the evil eye for drinking soda. I had to finish the last bit inteh house, and savor it, right? And he and the kids finished off the last of the ice cream in the house. It's ok--I had some previously, and I didn't want any. :-)

It is going to be hard to give up soda cold turkey. Sigh. And Steve gets us donuts on some Sunday mornings. Oh well. I am in no mood to birth a 10 or 12 pound baby!

I shampooed the carpets the other night, after everyone was asleep. It looks nice. The kitchen floor needs mopping again though.

We have internet after two days of not having connectivity. Our provider stinks, but they have a monopoly in our area, so what can we do?

Tomorrow night's dinner (or is it tonight, since it is after midnight?) is chicken and corn sauce. Sounds nasty, but tastes good. I promise.

Steve was pretty ill last night and today and I think he is slowly feeling better. Just some random bug that affected only him, thankfully. But poor Steve!

I change weeks every Tuesday so today (yesterday?) I hit 30 weeks. Steve told me on Monday that I have "popped." Yeah, my belly pokes out a little!

My next doctor's appointment is on Friday. I will learn more about GD and how to handle it, as well as get the Ffn (fetal fibronectin) test for early labor. I am doing ok. I am moving ever slower as each day passes. I still have the achy joints and my hips and pelvis get ready for delivery. I'm excited--will I go early again or actually make it past 37 weeks? If I don't, I cannot deliver at the birth center and I must deliver at the actual hospital. We shall see what happens!

So when the kids go to school tomorrow, I can do my maintenance cleaning on the main floor, and fold the laundry waiting on my folding table, and feel productive, and probably before 10 AM! Yay for the first day of school--because I am excited, I will be able to pop out of bed! Of course I will end up exhausted tomorrow afternoon, but oh well.

I need to find my camera. It is either on my nightstand or downstairs in my Winnie the Pooh bag. I think. But I need pictures of the kids on their first day! Jonathan will be in 6th grade, which would be middle school in other places but is still elementary here. I remember his first day of school, where his bookbag was standard size and swallowed him up, and he was mad because they had an orientation where we all drove to school. He wanted to ride the bus, thank you!

And Katie will be in the second grade. I remember her first day of school--we showed up early to peek in the window before her day ended and her hair was in pony tails, and they were so droopy by then, and so were her shoulders. She was sad from missing us by then--and it was only a half day!

Well it is 1 AM now, so I am going to try and get some sleep before tomorrow!

Nesting!

Steve and I were both nesting today, doing tons of things. one of the things was actually hanging the altered letters on the nursery wall. I am going to get some butterfly wall clings to liven it up, because the wall is a little bare, but here they are! Hope you all like them. It's late and I am beat. Will post later!

Appointment update

So I went in at 9, swilled down the orange slop, sat there for an hour with both kids and then got my blood drawn. We killed time at a few stores, went out to lunch, then it was back to the doctor for test results and RhoGam. I failed my glucose test and have to do a redo next week, the 3 hour test this time. I lost 5 pounds of water weigh in 7 days since I have been there last--holy cankles, Batman! I also had to give a second urine sample when the first showed blood in it?? I have no idea what that is about. I am not spotting, I have no pain. Maybe it is a budding bladder infection? I gave a second sample so they are going to grow cultures in it and see what's going on. That's about it. I expected a ho-hum, in and out appointment, and I was there all day. My blood pressure is better though. And I start going every 2 weeks now. I will keep you updated, but right now, I am tired and want to go lay down.

Pictures!

OK I will write a little while I wait for my pictures to load up...

Tomorrow is my doctor's appointment, and I am drinking a ton of water for two reasons--one, I enjoy waking several times a night to use the toilet, and two, to hydrate myself for tomorrow's blood draw. I have to fast after midnight until my blood is drawn so I am trying to fill up with water so maybe my veins will be more cooperative tomorrow. Eh, yeah right!

I am trying to upload my 28 weeks / 7 months pregnant picture. Yay for the third trimester!ETA: It is uploaded and is an okay shot, but does not have the best background. I just told Steve to take it with me standing in front of a chair. You can barely see the chair, but at least you can see the fridge in the background--I am not that big yet! Sorry for the blinding light from the kitchen!

The other 2 pictures are of the new puppy--a face shot and then one of her curled up on Max, the long-suffering big-brother dog. My cell phone is SLOW. OK they are uploaded at the top now!

So what else? I can't wait for school to start! The kids have new backpacks and lunch kits, and a few school supplies, but we are waiting for specific lists from the teachers. We got new socks and underwear and a new outfit each. Maybe tomorrow we will get some new shoes. Maybe not tomorrow. I don't know.

I am so tired lately--it has been 7 years since I was this pregnant and I forget how tired one becomes just doing small things. Stephanie will be here in a few weeks! Whee!

A few of you have been asking how I have been doing. I finished my prednisone prescription and the inflammation is greatly reduced. It hurts to talk, so I haven't been on the phone much. My teeth still feel "electric"and eating is a challenge to keep them from touching, lest I end up on the floor, writhing. Just kidding! I do have to eat carefully, but as days pass, fewer teeth feel like they are live wires. As long as I don't think about anything that drives me insane, or get worked up at anything and raise my voice, my face does not start the "death twitch."

That's about it. I will update after tomorrow's appointment, but I don't expect it to be too exciting. Off to chug water before bed! --Jenn

Two appointment updates for y'all

I could not wait until today's appointment to get my facial pain attended to. I went in on Wednesday. I have been diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia, (look it up, it is interseting and it sucks, too) which in my case is caused and exascerbated by stress. So those three stressful event basically made my face explode or erupt or something. I am under doctor's orders to have NO stress for the remainder of my pregnancy, and to minimize it thereafter because it can certainly recur.

Steve is under orders to be my stress-interceptor for the pregnancy. He has seen me in some serious pain, and I know he will do all he can to keep it from coming back and putting me through that again. I know he wanted to help me, but there was nothing he could do to alleviate my pain. There still isn't anything anyone can do. I cannot take narcotics because of the baby. I am on prednisone for a few days to try to lay the smack down on my inflamed nerves. Hopefully it will work ok and I will start meditating or something because I can't do that pain any more. It is debilitating. I can give birth unmedicated but with this all I could do was lay in a ball and sob, and live in fear of the next attack. Yesterday I had a few episodes but I felt so much better that I made a cherry pie, 3 loaves of homemade bread, and my first homemade chicken pot pie.

So today I went to the OB, and everything is ok for now. We listened to the baby's heartbeat, I am measuring right on schedule, and I go back next week for my glucose test and Rhogam shot. Because I am a little swollen and my blood pressure is a little up, they will also screen me for toxemia. The doctor is not too alarmed yet, because my pain might be what is raising my BP, and also swelling is normal at this stage in the game. He says he is just being careful.

That's about it. I think next week's lab tests will determine if I am still at monthly appointments or if I go to 2 week appointments, and I will keep you posted. For now I am going to take my sore face and lay down. Oh yeah--Baby is doing well, and getting big. She should be about 2 pounds and 14 inches long. The other day she kicked me in my boob! Woohoo! Also, I promised a belly pic--I will have Steve take one tonight and post it later.

Um, ow. My face hurts.

Ok I am going to complain for a minute here. My face hurts on the right side. It is a nerve gone haywire and it has been a bad few days. I first noticed it a couple of months ago. I would wake up in the middle of the night with horrible face pain. I thought it was a sinus thing and brought it up to the doctor at my next visit. He told me some medicine I could take, but I didn't because the pain didn't recur. Fast forward to the past two weeks, where these episodes have increased in frequency and severity. I am in throbbing pain (and tears) multiple times a day. It is a pain to cry silently (with a cold compress against my face) so I don't scare my kids.

I described my face pain on the internet to my message boards. One board is a group of pregnant women, and I asked if anyone else had pain like mine--coming suddenly, intense pain that radiated from the temple/eye, down through the nose and lips, and the whole upper and lower jaw, and making my teeth feel electric. Lather, rinse, repeat countless times a day.

A lady said that it sounded like I have what she has--Trigeminal neuralgia. I looked it up and there is an illustration of the face, and the trigeminal nerve. Lo and behold it goes all over where my pain is!

I don't know if my OB has ever heard of this, but I am taking a printout of the description with me to my appointment on Friday, to either get it ruled out or to get a diagnosis. Either way I need some pain relief because Tylenol is not touching this pain. The pain laughs when I take Tylenol. Loudly.

I wonder if it gets worse with stress? Because I was pain-free for a couple of months and then all of a sudden, in the past week, when I have had three very stressful issues crop up and get my hormones raging. For te past three days, here I am with a face full of pain. I hope it goes away when the baby is born, if it is pregnancy-related, or sooner if it is stress-related. I will take up meditation if I have to. I have got to do something about this pain. I thought my pregnancy aches were bad? Please. I still have them and they are overshadowed by this face pain.

You know what's funny? I would rather trade my sciatic nerve pain and my crotch pain o' doom (thanks for the term, RockPrincess) every day for the rest of this pregnancy, *and* go 2 weeks overdue than have my face hurt even one more time. Please, G-d? Please? I need some prayers y'all because this face pain HURTS.

Off to meditate, and try to sleep.

Six and a half months

It has been a few weeks since I updated. I cannot sleep much at night because of SPD pain. Basically, everything around my pubic bone is stretching and growing and loosening, and it can cause some major pain. I didn't have this with my previous pregnancies. It's a whole new ball game. Couple that with sciatica, which is also new to me, and walking is fun! Walking, sitting, standing, sleeping. I spend couple hours in the bathtub at night, because the warm water helps, but after I haul myself out of the tub, I get stiff again. I spend part of the night in my bed, and usually end up sleeping sitting up in my big blue chair. It is a nice, overstuffed monstrosity, and sheer exhaustion makes it a nice place to try to sleep. I get about 4 or 5 hours a night, then Steve and the kids get up. I am alert for a while, but then I snooze for a while to make up for lost sleep. Not complaining, just updating.

I did whine to Steve the other day, and he (nicely, not verbatim) asked me didn't I know what I was getting into when I got pregnant again? Isn't he a funny man! I told him I didn't have these same problems before. Otherwise it would not have been such a surprise.

I have a burning to the left of my belly button. There is a nerve just under the skin and when the baby kicks it, oh man, does it hurt! Morning sickness decreased for about two weeks, to where I was only throwing up 2 or three days a week. It has returned, bringing with it my old friend nausea.

According to the internet, the baby is about 14 inches long from head to toe and weighs about two pounds. I am 26 weeks and two days on Thursday, which is about 30 minutes from now. I told Steve that I feel like we have 10 good weeks before I feel like I am on borrowed time.

The other night I was very upset about something. It was not anything silly like me bursting into tears because I wanted a burrito--this was a real problem. No pregnancy hormones involved. I tried talking about it with my mom, Steve and a neighbor for advice and I still couldn't see a peaceful resoltion. I was very agitated. Then I had a few stabby cramps in my cervix and freaked right out. I drank a load of water and took a warm bath and also laid on my left side and "let go" of the agitation. No way was I in the mood to have a micropreemie! I had some pretty scary, tight Braxton-Hicks for over an hour, but they lessened in severity ater 45 minutes, and would only recur if I moved. So I went to sleep. Lesson to self: don't get so spun up over stuff, even if it is actually a big deal.

I feel bad for the doctor, who I go to see again on August 10th. For the past months I have been a quick, in-and-out, no-problems patient, and this visit I get to go in with a laundry list! Pitting edema and high blood pressure about a week ago which took three days of water guzzling and major salt reduction to fix, recurrent edema (but not to the level of pitting because I am still reducing salt and guzzling water), horrible SPD pain, Sciatica, persistent morning sickness, Braxton-Hicks, etc. I am going to ask when I will go on light duty and/or bed rest. I feel like it will be soon and I told Steve that I need to get a few things done before I go to the doctor. I am afraid he will hear my litany and say "Go lay down!"

It is not quite nesting, it is just fear that I will be confined before I can scrub my baseboards. I already scrubbed out my refrigerator gasket with a toothbrush. How does it get so nasty? Heh. Maybe it *is* nesting. I also want to bake things, like a cherry pie, which I got the fixins for today, and bread from scratch like I used to. I am going to make a chicken pot pie too, and I have never made one before. I made blueberry jam last week.

I have yammered on long enough. I will update again after the doctor's visit. I am going to try and lay down. Oh yeah--Stop and Shop's brand of Maple Cinnamon bread is divine. That is all.

Altered letters!

So here are the letters! I held each one up as I finished inking their edges. Pay no attention to my messy worktable. I scrapbook, make cards and alter things all on my worktable and it is a cluttery mess.

I papered them, added fibers to them, affixed heart-shaped paper, buttons and gems to most of them as well as some words stickers to some of them. Each of them will be held up on the wall with skinny pink and purple ribbons. I have to decide where I want the letters hung and then I will take another picture of them all on the wall for you to see.

Just popping in...

We went to CT this past Sunday to see the ILs and I got to see the girls again! MIL gave us some professional pics they had made of the girls and they are darling! I tried to scan them and the scanner has decided not to work?? I debated taking a picture with my cell phone but it wouldn't do them justice. I also burned a roll and a half of film while I was there--the ILs had their curtains open and there was nice lighting in the living room to snap pictures. The girls are 10 months old and MacKenzie is crawling, and they both are teething and have such cute personalities. It was a nice visit, can you believe it?

MIL has offered/promised us tons of stuff that she bought for the girls for when they thought the girls would be coming home with them. They're too big for it now. And she gave us some stuff to take home with us too. My mom has bought lots of stuff too, and we have picked up a few things. Here is a list of what we have so far:

A crib, a changing table, a bouncy seat, the Gossamer Wings bedding set, matching rug and curtains, an heirloom rocking chair that Steve was rocked in over 30 years ago, a baby monitor, a diaper pail, a basket with diapers and lavender wash inside, and we are starting to accumulate clothes! New, hand me downs, or from yard sales, we aren't picky--we are blessed and grateful!

When my mom came to visit, I registered, which felt odd, because this is not my first baby. But there is a 7 year gap between my last child and this one, so I went ahead. I felt kind of piggish though. Oh well, it's a wish list, right? I did register for a car seat as well as the car seat-stroller combo, in the hopes that someone might buy us one of the two.

We have the fetal echo on Thursday to check the baby's heart. MIL gets to come to this u/s since my mom got to come to the last one.

What else? I bought wooden letters that spell "Stephanie" and I am whitewashing them before I alter them, to hang as a decoration on the baby's wall. I am going to put stripes, polka dots, and random brushstrokes of paint on them (in pink or purple, haven't decided yet) and also glue cut-from-cardstock flowers, skinny ribbon, decorative little woodcuts and/or shaped brads on the fronts of the letters. Then I am going to hang them from fat ribbon, on the wall. I will certainly post pictures of them, even if I can only capture them on my cell phone, so you all can see!

Well that's about it for now. I will post an update on Thursday afternoon about the echo and I hope everyone has a Happy 4th of July! Be safe!

We have a name!

Our little girl will be named...

Stephanie Juliet !

We like the name Stephanie and Juliet is to honor my friend Julie. Stephanie Julie sounded a little funny and Juliet had a better flow to it, while still being able to honor Julie.

It's a girl !

So in we went to the ultrasound. We have a girl, and the tech is quite convinced that there are no dangly bits hiding anywhere. This little girl was not shy about mooning us all, and rolling around to where the tech got a perfect view at all angles, and pointed them out to us, baby butt crack, baby legs, nothing between the legs. The tech even took a picture of the baby's bottom so we can see, it is a girl. LOL! The baby was awake during the scan so she was running around all over and we got a facial picture of her on the fly, with her hands curled up by her face. I will upload it. At one point, the baby laid her head on one of her opened hands and I said she looked jut like Steve! That's how he lays, when he sleeps--on his hand. The baby has a 3 vessel cord, as is normal, a 4 chambered heart, 2 kidneys, a full bladder and tummy, and has a cute little face.

We did some shopping, and we registered at BabiesRus. My mom was so excited to be there and see it, and go shopping and help me decide which item to "doot doot" next on the registry. It was odd to register, since this is baby number three, but my kids will be 7 and 11 when the baby is born, and I have no more baby things left.

Today my mom took Jonathan home for a three week visit, and so my little boy should be up in the air on his first flight ever, right now. Of course he is not so little anymore--he will be 11!

That's about it for me right now. Steve took Katie to her baseball game and I am having some quiet time, putting my sausage feet up to keep the swelling down.

Belly pic at 20 weeks

So here I am at 20 weeks. I was waiting at the airport for my mom's plane to land--she s here visiting for a week. Ignore how wrinkly the shirt is, ok?

People have been asking me if I think it is twins, because of the two-heartbeat thing? I am of two minds. Either it is twins because sometimes I feel movement in two places at one time, and I hear two distinct heartbeats in two separate areas of my belly--far right, and low left, OR I am feeling gas and am too stupid to tell the difference between gas and movement, and the doppler is just really sensitive and is picking up an echo of the same heartbeat.

Who knows? We will find out on Friday! Whether it is one baby or if we are doubly blessed, I will still be thrilled with one healthy child of either gender. After 5 losses, I'm happy to be pregnant at all. Even with my sausage feet! A second baby would be the best bonus though!

It was just a joke! Now it's not funny anymore!

OK I need a swift slap of reality.

I started teasing Steve that we were having twins, saying my morning sickness should have let up by now, and when his mom had twins, she said she was so sick, for so long. I also got a flier in the mail from a local car dealership that said, "we will buy your vehicle, if you buy one of ours." I told Steve to go trade in our sedan for a minivan, since we were going to have twins. Ha ha ha, right?

Then I had a dream that I carried to 38 weeks, and I was excited--that's a nice time to deliver! In my dream I was able to see that the baby was a girl, and weighed 5 pounds, 5 ounces. I thought it was odd that I carried the baby later than my other 2 pregnancies, yet the baby was smaller, and the dream kind of hit "rewind" to my big ultrasound (which hasn't taken place yet). There we were--me on the table, Steve, my kids & my mom, and the screen shows *two* babies. Cue shouts of disbelief and happiness! What a nice surprise! What a big shock!

Then the dream hits "fast-forward" back to my delivery, where it showed me the baby girl and her small-for-a-singleton-but-nice-for-a-twin birthweight. I woke up before being allowed to see the gender of the second baby.

I woke up and told Steve that if my dream was right, I would carry until 38 weeks. I held back the other information for a while but it eventually came out. He is less amused by the joke now, and is afraid of my dream.

So we have a doppler lent to us by a friend. I listen every day to the baby's heartbeat. The baby's heartbeat was between 150 and 160 when we first started listening, but lately it is 155 or so, and then the baby will swim away and when we find the heartbeat again, it is 140. What?

The other night we were listening and I would have sworn I felt the baby kicking on the opposite side of my belly where we were hearing the heartbeat. The baby is not long enough to do that yet. I started laughing and teased Steve more.

So tonight I was listening and Steve was snoozing. I heard the heartbeat on the bottom right as usual. Then I put the wand on the right side of my belly and what? was? that? It *must* have been an echo, right? Not a second heartbeat, right? I repeat this scenario a few times and I am starting to get the willies. So I just go back to the bottom right, and listen to that sweet sound. I felt movement on the left, moving toward the right. Then I thought I heard another heartbeat, and I felt a flurry of movement. The heartbeat would come in and fade out, over and over, and it was all over the place, anywhere between 138 and 158.

That is when I woke Steve up, and said, "OK, you are the voice of reason. You tell me the *second* heartbeat is just the baby moving around fast. And if I hear it in two spots again, you tell me I am just hearing an echo."

So I listen in the one spot for awhile, and the *second* heartbeat returns. I poke Steve to make sure he is hearing this. My heartbeat (when I pass over a blood vessel of mine) is a slow whooosh, whooosh, whooosh, about 80 BPM. The baby's heartbeat is woo-woo-woo, and when the *second* one came around it made it go from the normal woo-woo-woo to a new sound: too-too, too-too, too-too, too-too.

Steve was wide awake and with eyes narrowed, told me to turn off the doppler. It must need a new battery or something. I kinda laughed. Now he is asleep. I had a shower to wash off the goo and now I am kind of freaking out.

This was a joke! My HCG was never significantly high, but what can we tell from numbers? My progesterone was so low but I still got pregnant. My Beta didn't double properly but I still stayed pregnant. I've got a fighter in there but is it really possible that I have 2 fighters???

My SIL previously claimed that she had an ultrasound where the doctor said it was one baby, a boy. Turns out it was 2 babies, both girls, and the second baby had been hiding behind the first, except for a limb had been sticking up just a little to resemble a penis, and for the OB to proclaim it one boy. Now I take everything she says with a grain of salt, and lord knows I don't want to be like her, but is this really common?

I know all I can do is wait until my ultrasound in two weeks. I would feel doubly blessed with twins, but for right now, I am just saying to myself that I am a nutter, and it is an echo that I am hearing, and the baby is just moving around too much and is confusing the doppler, and it needs a new battery, and my numbers would have been higher, and I have had three ultrasounds already and surely the tech would have seen something, and that babies don't really hide behind one another. Run-on sentence, I know. Any opinions?

Side note--If you leave a reply, it will not show up right away--I have the blog set to where the comments come to my email and I have to click "Publish." This keeps the spambots and advertisements for Viagra and home loans at bay. Just so you know.

Jenn, who loves feeling the stronger movements coming from her belly!